Goodbyes are something that we are going to have to face for our whole life. We say goodbye to our parents on our first day of preschool, to our friends after another dreaded school day, to people who move to another town, and the hardest of all, when someone we love leaves this world.
I’ve never liked the idea of a goodbye being final. Knowing that I will never see a person again is something that I fear more than anything else. I know that I will always have to say goodbye to people during my lifetime, but I also know to use the time I have with them as well as I can.
There are no words to describe the feeling that someone gets when they lose someone that they grew up with. It’s a sense of helplessness; despite their best efforts, that person isn’t going to stay. I know the feeling, and it’s hard to bear.
I didn’t know who I was when my brother passed. I was lost in so many ways that I felt hopeless. Part of me was gone forever, and I couldn’t get it back, but I was so focused on the lost part of me that I forgot the part of me that was still here. I made desperate attempts to find who I was, but they all failed. It was with a reminder of my past that I was able to pull through and grow from the situation.
Eighteen years is a long time to know someone and be close to them, I know because that’s how long I’ve had my best friend. Tori Davidson is someone I can always rely on, no matter the issue. I can’t remember not having her around, but it’s been eighteen years, and we’re going to have to say goodbye sooner than we think.
The idea of not having Tori living in the same town is hard to bear, even though I know that I’ll see her again. She is the reason that I have been able to stand strong my whole life. With roughly five months until her departure, I know that I have to make the most of it. These next five months are going to be the most important of my life.
When Tori leaves for Franciscan University
These last eighteen years have gone by much faster than I expected them to. I have never had to say goodbye to her, and I honestly thought I never would. Goodbyes are a funny thing, though they generally come with tears. August is going to be here before I expect it, and no matter how much I prepare for it, I’ll never be ready. Life after high school is going to be one of the most drastic changes in my life.
School is a routine that’s hard to get out of. Thirteen years of waking up early, sitting in a room for six hours, and going home at the end of the day, just to repeat it again the next day. This is my life, and this simple routine is coming to an end soon. The only thing that is reassuring to me is knowing that no matter how far away I am from Tori, we will have a friendship that is unbreakable.
I don’t know what point I’m trying to make with this. I started off thinking this was about goodbyes, and it morphed into keeping friends close. In the end, though, they go together; hand-in-hand. It’s hardest to say goodbye to a friend that has been there your whole life.
I’m going to make the next five months count. I have no choice but to say what I need to say and prepare for the inevitable goodbye at the end. The goodbye that Tori and I are going to share in August is temporary, but it’s still going to hurt. The next five months will be full of hugs, tears, I love you’s, and most importantly, memories.
This is it; our final stand.
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